No more ideas ..

Overwhelmed! I have spent months together now feeling overwhelmed by ideas. For most part of the day, I am surrounded by them. Ideas - small, big, fancy, dull, creative and dumb. They just keep floating all around me. 

Never allowed to see past them, I am incarcerated in their world. I live with them. I talk to them. I dream about them even in my dreams. In all these months they have not allowed me to do anything but gather more of them. There are things that I should have been able to finish long ago but I was busy harbouring them.

And they have been more than puckish. I invite one; a hundred others gatecrash sending my brain circuitry for a toss.

In fact they are sly enough to make me feel guilty for not being able to allocate enough and equal time to each one of them.  All of them scamper for my attention 24*7, like small kids vying for their class teacher’s attention in a prep school or like a management student desperate to score extra points for class participation.

At times I hate them or rather I hate myself for allowing so many of them to haunt me. They just waste my time and energy. Pretending to be my closest cohort, they lure me towards the impossible, towards the impractical and the unrealistic. And then they slip away quietly leaving me in the dark. 

Such has been the torment that I have finally hit upon an idea.

I want to get rid of all the ideas. I want to be free. I just want to enjoy the present. I want a plain vanilla life, which has structure, which has routine and which has a purpose and an end defined by the society. A life which banks on process and doesn’t sway with creativity. A life that doesn’t look for a method in madness. A life that respects order and spurns chaos. 

I don’t want to think for sometime …I don’t want to dream for sometime ...  no plans … and no big pictures. I just want to get up one fine day, brush my teeth and get to work. Period.