T G I F

Tomorrow I'll wake up with a question in mind
Gosh! what am I doing with this life of mine
It only seems yesterday when i entered 2008
Filled with dreams of realizing the dreams innate
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Today at the crossroads, which way to choose ?
Go on with the flow or let my heart break loose
Inertia then unseen is now knocking at my door
Further i might not believe my heart anymore
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The ones who imagine it as next to impossible
Grumble that my simple thoughts are fallible
It won't matter to them we'll know with time
Figure out and follow your way through 2009!

al fresco

It didn’t take much time for me to decide that I wasn’t particularly a cutout for this technophile world.

No, not because I was performing badly anywhere or I was not able to cope up with my studies or work load at any point of time till date.

As I was discussing this with one of my friends, she had remarked “Just because you are doing well somewhere, doesn’t mean that you like it, or that you have a flair for it. You are basically a conscientious person, and your natural propensity towards hard work is bound to pay you back any day. Why don’t we put aside hard work for a moment and bring forth your so-believed proclivity for…….”

Not every person is fortunate to know what he really likes or wants to do in life. As we grow up, we are conditioned by the tastes, aspirations and behavior of those around us. So if at the end of it, you still retain that appetite and that kaleidoscopic sight, I would like to believe you are blessed!

All this…… Not, without a flipside.
At any level, family matters the most. Aligning and adjusting your aspirations with theirs coupled with gearing up for the responsibilities you inherit as you grow up, do take a lot of time. Sometimes, spanning your entire life!

But not everyone can discern what it is like, to be doing something, when your core is urging you to work towards your dream. Every single day spent is like a big loss. And this realization is like a leak in the heart, slowly seeping out your zeal and asking ‘Why forgo what you owe to yourself?’

Flipping the coin again, why not try taking a few steps guided by your heart when you still have the time. As an age old aphorism, copyrighted by management gurus says ‘Work around blocks instead of bumping into them.’

Some simple yet concrete steps ......... before you succumb to needless quibbles…… before you convince yourself of your make-believe limitations…….. before you let go of inner self and join other mortals to vegetate.

As a garnishing thought:
“Sometimes it is necessary to take a big leap; you cannot cross a chasm in two small jumps.”

Waiting for spring ...

The mind was nothing more than a slate rubbed with ash;
dim, dreary and dry.

Senses were like cold cold wind knocking at your doorsteps,
withering the last wisps of wish.

Reasons were like forgotten jigsaw pieces, stacked away
and hope had heaved its last sigh

Bare like a tree which has lost all its possession to the autumn
wondering what used to be me!

An existence had turned into a perilous paradox
Once upon a time!
Inspiration: Aishwarya Pratap Singh like before :)

The flip side of Le Chateleir Principle

A life of superlatives; where first order is pedestrian
A life spent chasing; toiling for the …. ers ‘n’ …. ests
A life amidst concrete; wherein dreams are contrived
A life without ceiling; a life not looking for meaning

A life with squinted focus; the vicinity, far n beyond
A life obscured by lights; where visions are ephemeral
A life rendered reticent; subliminal struggling to stay alive
A life out of equilibrium, sans the Le Chatelier principle


Le Chateleir Principle : If a system at equilibrium experiences a change, then the equilibrium shifts to partially counter-act the imposed change.

In search of fire .....

Seemed to look up at me, questioning, eyes lost in a mire

There’re so many, then why did you choose me, you liar!

I believed your heart your words then so pure

But I can’t trust them to be yours any more

Don’t think you can possess me for you’re left with no desire

You now belong to the crowd who can only look and admire

Hoped that someday you’ll return to me or at least you

Wished for long, that you forget everything to start new

Gosh! can’t believe you’re the same, acting so meek

But now it’s getting late and you’re making me weak

Cry if you feel like, but that won’t get you me, Sire!

The one thing you need, if you care still, is the fire!

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.

.

For then, no goal remains huge and no aim too high

You’ve won half the battle just when you say aye!!

For those struggling to make something out of it ... the 'I' in the poem is the 'Goal' of the person talking to him and the 'YOU' is the person.

Inspired by : Aishwarya Singh

Reminiscence

A store house in the corner of my terrace, no one bothers to enter now

Has grown up with me all the way through, as far as my memory allows

Filled up with paraphernalia I casted off, while sailing ahead in life,

It offers me the coast I need when I pause at times, feeling deprived

That night, when I opened its door, some chocolate moments awaited me

My Tobu cycle, on which I dreamed, to see the world, pedaling gingerly

Next to it slept my Barbie; soiled clothes, sans hair, yet pretty, as ever

Pulling back drapes from memory, I mused over days we're together

I dusted off a thick scrap book, my holiday home-work, running into miles

And a sweet reminiscence of my school days left behind a child-like smile

An earring parted from its match, a pair of stilettos choked with earth

Or even the rusted cooler in a corner had all shared my gloom n mirth

Few more windows opened inside, n I peeped into some dear moments

Leaning by an aged rickety chair, a teardrop joined me that very instant

Looking at the fan, as it toiled, to bring about a puff of air on my face

I closed my eyes to sail back in time, away from future, to my solace!

P.S. : The inspiration for this one too after quite sometime is
Aishwarya P Singh :)

hope n a little ..... :)

It was one of the typical June afternoons in Delhi. I stepped out of the building's compound clutching two papers, with a light heart and a blank mind. The only goal of my life has been achieved. What do I do now?

Crossing over to the other side of the road luckily found some space to sit on the wooden plank; supported on either sides by two blocks of concrete quietly picked up form the nearby construction site.

I have been a regular here for the past few years. My eyes met Karim Bhai's for a moment to let him know what I wanted. He knew all his customers; had shared all their smiles, frowns, fears and tears.

Many a plans had been made or discarded under the shade of this old plastic sheet; propped up on road by two logs, while the other side tied to the grill along the footpath.

But today there was nothing to plan about. So I just sat, a little hunched, watching him juggle between the biscuit and sugar bottles to keep his business running.

The vapours rising out of the hot tea kept on the stove had amused me since I was a kid. Looking beyond, through it, it felt as if you are being pulled away into some other time. Now all I could see through them was the hazy board in front of the institute which read "Rajiv Gandhi Cancer Hospital".

Although I still couldn't fathom as to why I was trying to evade the smile which was trying so hard to light up my face. May be I had grown so used to standing up against the odds that I just didn't seem to have any strength left to caress a smile.

Finally, I let out a deep breath, slowly eased my fists and gave the crumpled paper to Karim bhai, watching him read it out to everybody there, almost, unbelievingly.

"It will be true one day"…. I had told myself from day one, but ………. I was at a loss for words …….. Now the smile said it all …….

serendipity ..

She bent over, her palm over mine, as we both struggled to draw a line,

Trying for the fifth time, so that our apple could look more than a lime

“I can’t do it mummaa” I complained and repeated for the nth time

“Do it slowly beta, it will come out fine”, she consoled as I whined

I think I was three; Curious ‘bout stars n astonished by flowers

And she on her toes, watching me, as I tripped over dolls n cars

Going down the memory lane, via the old family album

Found en route some wonderful memories - me n mum!

‘First Prize in Art in Class’ when I was only five

Was a true feat for her, no words could describe

And she had a success story for our neighbours

When I crossed the finishing line before others

Even today, each task I face seems small

When she says ‘Jus do! It’s nothing at all’

I wonder over my life’s first veracity

She – my mom is sheer serendipity…..

Together … through the stars we see :)

At the station, waiting; eyes follow the tracks, lost unto infinity behind a misty veil,
And like a teenager, I hopelessly wish, for just one look of yours that I could steal

I sit down smiling, over this sweet confusion for no reason or rhyme
A rose petal I discover in a book, and am being drifted back in time

I may not be near to you now, and we might not be meeting too, in days to be
But in a way so special you make me feel, together, through the stars we see

And when we sit on the rocks, in our dreams, a word from you or even without
I give you the control to obliterate me, whichever way you wish, all throughout

Each time, I talk to you it sinks; I was meant to be yours despite all despites
A divine discretion seems to be working, ever since we met on that fateful night !!!

P.S.: inspired by the new airtel ad !

What If ....... ?????

One big room or rather a hall and I sit in the middle and I feel so small…
As I stare at the ceiling... there's this sinking feeling ……. What if .....

The wet air goes by, leaving behind its chill to seep deep in my bones
And it cuts through my skin, revealing few memories, old and forlorn

Standing in my balcony, I struggle, to reach out to silence, but, in vain
I turn away to shut all noise when someone inside me calls out my name

Shivering, I listen to it, as the first rays of the sun lit up my face
And with the first bell going in the temple, I recover my grace

Hey! Look up, coz with every breath you take you are born again
You live only when the question you ask is .............So what, if …

P.S.: Inspiration ... Aishwarya P Singh.

Vo hawa se baatein karti hai ...

Har subah aankhon pe jab suraj kirnon ke chheete deta hai

Voh neend chura ke palkon me sapnon ka peechha karti hai

angdaai lete hue din me jab khushboo kai ghulne lagte hain

Matke ke aaine se pooch ke vo, phir bindi ek chun lati hai

Sarson ke phool masti me choor jab kanak hasi lutate hain

Faila ke pankh armaanon ke, vo hawa se baatein karti hai

Halki-phulki, boondon se choti jab boonden jadoo kar jati hain

Khulte hain har bandhan pal me, vo khud se hi mil jaati hai

Tim tim taaron ke neeche jab jugnu tam se lad jaate hain

kuch nek irade mutthi mein, vo khuda se saazish karti hai

A thousand smiles I need..................

It's hardly been days, since WE broke up into I and YOU
And even though I do, I somehow can't say "I MISS YOU"

scared to open my eyes each morning for the first thought is you
and though it leaves me more lonely, in that silence i talk to you

some questions and some doubts, some answers and some facts
breaking up inside each moment still putting up a nonchalant act

a deluge i need to drench myself and drape the drop which left my eyes
and a bit of sunshine here and there to thaw the frost in my gelid life

A thousand smiles i need, oh dear! to forget that one smile of yours
I'll never be the same without you whichever way life takes its course

Reading by the light .....

I stepped out of my room holding a lantern in one hand and a book
in another. Slowly I squeezed myself through the gap between the
doors. One extra movement and it would have like roared like some
giant.

Adjusting the wick to get just enough light, I then tiptoed out in the
courtyard. It was a very clear night. And the sheer number of stars
I could see up in the sky overwhelmed me with myriad emotions.
Quickly glancing through the courtyard, I found a straw mat lying
towards one side. Quietly I went up to it; putting the lantern on the
mud floor sat down, legs crossed, on the mat.

It was just 8 pm but the world on this part of the earth was already
in deep slumber. Hardly anything has changed. The breeze playing
with the loose strands of my hair was still laden with the smell of
corn and wheat.

As the silence suffused my heart I took out the bookmark and bent
over the pages. I pulled the lantern closer; eyes squinted as I began
reading.

It’s been almost seven years since I last pulled spinach from our fields
early morning or tried to hit the solitary mango hanging from the
mango tree in the afternoons.....

P.S. : And this one again is a byproduct of a seemingly innocent chit
chat with my fren and now almost the co-author (well that's too
much to say actually :P) of this blog .. Aishwarya ... thanks a ton !!

poured OUT !!!

Sometime back in my mind a million thoughts conjured up a concoction
When I tried to pour them on paper the result was hardly any consolation

Some pushed me into past, some pinned me ahead on calendar
Some tried to slip beneath my pencil, not willing to surrender

I went after the thoughts like a mom chasing her three year
“Wait a min” I muttered, putting myself on the highest gear

It took some time, no doubt, but yeah, I came out vindicated
Feels so good when you know in life where to, you are headed !!

NH - 8

on your marks ...

get set ...

goooooo ......

jus roll down ur windows, and stick out your head...
smell the air, pulling aside the hair from your face..

let ur eyes, brush past a new sight every fleeting moment
let your cheeks be kissed by the sun till you are content

halt in the middle of nowhere, step out n explore all by urself
walk, run or hide in the fields, n color urself yellow or emerald

climb up a tree or discover an old old well
allow your instincts to be guided by smell

go mad over parathas, with butter melting over it
follow it up with a spl. cutting to win over ur guilt

as u say good bye to the sun, there's something still left
a walk down a lane, unknown, i promise, u'll never forget

it's like opening a letter with sweet anticipation
or sitting back n planning a really long vacation

a wish goes from the heart to slow down the time

Ctrl –S these memories, Ambrosial, Pure n Sublime !!

solitude ...

Sitting on the tracks I wonder,

Oblivious of the world I left behind

Life holds in itself

Inexplicable wonders, each its own kind.

The rising sun beckons

Unfolding the mystery that surrounds

Dressed and drowned in serenity

Enter this life sans bounds .....

hic !.... hangover .... hope

One sec, lemme tell you whom to get hold of in case u aren't able to guess the context of the
poem, even after reading it twice !!
Concept/Idea/Inspiration : Aishwarya P Singh

He has been the one whose constant pestering made me think over it and give it a shot !!
A million thanks for I never knew I could write this way (comments will tell which way :P)!!

Hic! … hangover … hope

......On either side of the couch, eyes locked, as if for ever

......Both pleading, yet promising to be together, forever

She wondered over his words and he pondered over hers

It was the only sore of their relationship they had to nurse

Will he ever leave it? she thought, listless, as the silence loomed

Oh lord! How do I explain to him, the feeling of feeling marooned

'I know it isn't good, but then you know I am not very regular '

You know I'll never let you down, he'd said all, as if to an arbiter

Questions had questioned the answers, doubts had struggled with facts

But now, only an unnerving lull around, calling for one of them to act

She unlocked the gaze with a sigh, her belief clouded by the mist in her eyes

Deluged with thoughts, as he was trying to surmise, tiny hands tugged his tie

They were on cloud nine when she had arrived to complete their world

He had avered to be the best dad and care for her the way shell, a pearl

Small footsteps and candid smile, twinkling eyes that seem to brighten each sight

'Oh my little angel' he hugged her, as she kissed upon his cheek with sheer delight

Concealed in it, was a request he felt, breaking away all illusions he never could

What a moron I had been? He gasped, now taking in all that were for their good

“I promise I’ll never look back at it dear ”, he vowed, as he took her hands in his

She pulled herself close to his heart, not trying to be sane in the moment like this

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A resolution unlike the new years', made and meant to be kept forever

Setting aside that glass of beer, certain of a new beginning altogether!!

A New Beginning !

Another chapter ended today, yet another dream over
another beginning is to begin, so come lets start all over

it's virgin
like the drops on the window pane, of the very first winter rain

and vivacious
like a naughty kid on a high, when he catches a butterfly

yet full of vigor
all to herself with tracks as map, like an athlete in her final lap

So hold high, your glass of dreams, as we all raise a toast
Cheers! to setting out on what we desire and deserve the most!!


P.S. Continuing with the tradition, the beautiful start is courtesy Aish !! ... thanks buddy !!